I'm letting myself feel it this year. One moment I was thinking about my mother who'd died in August, the next moment I was in a new kind of numb.
It is strange, or not, but I watched the second tower fall on a television in a bar. I'd called an elderly friend on a routine check-in, she started screaming at me and I had the sense to go outside and pay attention. I don't have a television. During the next days and weeks I was thankful for the absence of repetitious terror, visually, at least.
The bar wasn't usually open so early. I don't think, I didn't track its timings and now it's under new ownership, and shiny and glossy so I don't have the luxury of sentimentality, another plus.  Anyway. Anyway. Anyway.
. . .an excerpt from "Everywhere Woman Is Born Free,"* which I posted here in full, a few years ago.  It's in my collection. 
Carr Futures/Tower 1/WTC
I remember
working one Wednesday 
on the 92nd
floor.  The people were pleasant, 
like they’d
all make great neighbors.
I remember
pangs in my stomach.  An ulcer? 
and asking a
friend if I should see a doctor.  
I’m going out on a limb here, Sarah, 
but you gotta have some fun.
I remember my
mom died a month earlier.
I remember
Martha called to say she was 
in Jersey and
did I want to visit.
I remember
being asked back to Carr Futures 
after Martha
and I made plans.  I called 
my friend on
a limb.  Should I turn down 
work right
now?  I remember I went to Jersey.  
It was a
Thursday.  I remember rolling down 
grassy slopes
with Martha’s grandkids.  
I never went
back to Carr Futures.
By 11 a.m. on
Tuesday everyone was gone.  
Everyone.  Every employee of Carr Futures 
who was there
that day was gone.  
Where were
they?  I remember the floor plan: 
the oblong
lobby, the maple reception area.  
The offices
beyond.  I remember wondering 
if any of the
exits were contemplated.  
I remember praying it all went fast.
I remember
thinking, No one?  
I remember thinking, So many in such
a short time?
I remember thinking, They are
shades.  They are gone.
I remember thinking, Not one person
made it out.  
Poof.  I remember, No one?
The Armory
I remember the Armory across the street became the 
first DNA collection center.
I remember my neighborhood a media event.
I remember streets blocked for two weeks.
Everything darker than a nightmare.
Candles, vigils, wax on sidewalks, shattered flames.
Flyers on every wall.  Photographs of
smiling people 
with their hair well-groomed, missing.
I remember being interviewed:  Do you want revenge?
I remember telling the people of France I wouldn’t 
put anyone through this.  
I remember hoping someone understood.
I remember there was no getting away from it.  
The doors of my building opened to the funeral train.
I remember the line down the block and around 
the corner.  Loved ones waiting to
register.
I remember trying to give blood.
I remember being asked to hand out fliers.
I remember crying because I wanted everyone 
to understand I cared as much as Jennifer Lopez.
__________
Carr Futures was a commodities broker/trader. They've merged. Jennifer Lopez had given money or visited the troops.